It is up to u

Enjoying my birthday cupcakes, with love from Aida...thanks so much Aida...sedap....

My birthday was on Monday, 23 June. Adding another year to my age. 44 oledi...Haiya!!!! or, only 44??? Either way..it is up to u how u see things. U want to sulk or u want to celebrate? Heeeyyyy!!!! celebrate darling!!!! Celebrate life, celebrate for my loved ones, my children, my family, my friends, U complete me...hehehehhe...

If given the chance to live my life all over again, would I do it differently? Yeah, I might. But not all though. There were regrets, I must admit. But there were also incidents that i would not change for anything. Of course you would want to keep all the good stuff, good feelings and good results. You must take the bad as well, because life is all about learning and enriching one's experience. It is also about memories. If you have no memories, (hey, no memories, would mean amnesia) or maybe not much of excitement in life that would conclude as 'memorable incidents'. Before I got married, I asked my sister, why do people get married? Well, it is for the memories and these memories fill your life. Huh, is that all? I did not get it. I got it now, big time!

No matter which path u take in life (be it for good deed or bad), you will discover that it is u who decide whether u want to be happy or miserable. For example, no matter what the issue is, it is u who decide whether u want to kill that person who has been spreading rumours about u or u would choose to be quiet and lets life takes its course. It is all up to u. If u decide to confront that person, be ready to face all the music, the confrontation, the denials, the lies and more lies. The fact remains that if it is only stories and telling them will make that person popular for sharing so called 'privilledged and juicy gossips', so what? (it is important to be famous nowadays, it seems). People would forget anyway, because it does not concern them. Again, life will takes its course. It is happening now. But then again, you don't spread stories of that person either (if you happen to have some privilledge and juicy stories to share). If you do the same mistake, then stupidity has gain control in your little brain!!! But if those stories are true, then...repent and vow not to do the same mistake again. Another lesson learn, there you go...

My boss advised this to me after an incident at the workplace which left me frustrated, dissapointed and to some extend, bewildered. He said, 'it is up to u to go to a corner and sulk till the end of time. But u can pick up the pieces, strive harder and prove that u are better that what others think'. I was taken aback with the advice at first. To me, why should I? (my ego talking). It was not my fault. If I want to sulk to the end of time, well it is up to me. It is my life after all.

I did not follow his advice. I carried on, bruised, frustrated and unproductive and it was affecting those around me. I was unhappy and it made others uncomfortable. I decided to end all these ill feelings and accept what had happened to me as enriching. I picked up the pieces, strive harder and prove that I'm better than what others think, as what my boss's advice. That decision made it easier for me to forgive. That decision has lifted the burden off my shoulders. It also brought comfort to those around me. No doubt they were sympathetic, but they can't do anything about it. Only I can do something about it. It is all up to me...

Happy Birthday to me...for the 44th time....Yeah!!!!

Kak Chik 3

Kak Chik's collection of poems

GOODBYE

Goodbye darling
We are parting
You know its sorrow to say goodbye
You'll find someone new and she'll be good to you
Darling, I'm leaving
Kiss me one tender love goodbye
I found out just now
I'm in your way somehow
Darling, don't worry
Parting doesn't always means goodbye
You'll be in my memory and I'll miss you
You're just like the star that miss the sky in my heart, goodbye darling
We are parting
Parting beneath the good sky
I don't know when or where
But darling, I'll be there
Goodbye darling, I'll be there


THIS IS GOODBYE

I bade you goodbye
Trying so hard not to cry
We smiled at parting
But could you not see
That we never meet again
I bade you goodbye
And all too soon it's time to go
One last word you heard me say
Then with eyes so full of dews
I turned and walked away from you
Together we were just for a while
Those days now seem so faraway
And yet memories are so dear today
And if it was just yesterday
We may never meet again
But those things
Those little things you have done to me
Will always in a small voice say
There's a kind heart faraway
As years go by....


LIFE STILL HAS MEANING

If there is a future, there is still time for mending
Time to see your troubles coming to an end
Life is never hopeless, however great your sorrow
If you're looking forward for a new tomorrow
If there's time for wishing...then there's time for hoping
When through doubt and darkness
You're blindly grooping
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you
May be feeling
If there's time for praying
There's time for healing
So if through the window there's a new day breaking
Thank God for the promise
Though mind and soul be asking
Of with harvest over there's grain enough for gleaming
There's tomorrow and
Life still has a meaning

THE SOUVENIR

Though I bid you goodbye
I ask you not to sigh
Your loving face never will I see
Yet memories will never be
We spent many pleasant days
Amidst many friends - always
May this countless happy hours
Be a lasting souvenir of ours
Our friendship then will never last
A constant memory of our past
And some day we shall be together
To share our joy with one another

Father's Day and little tremors

Yesterday, anak2 and I celebrated Father's Day with Hi-Tea @Crown Princess untuk ayahnya bebudak ni. Cafe on the Tenth, Crown Princess was fully booked, tapi dapat squeeze my reservation at the last minute. This is the time to ask for help from your frens. Thanks Pak Lah.

The thought of going for hi-teas is to the delight of my children sebab so much food to choose from. On the way to the hotel, semua tak sabar nak makan macam-macam, tapi bila sampai sana, boleh tanya..."nak makan apa ek? Tak tau nak makan apa..." I said, well u can take your time to think it over. As for me I want to serbu the spread.

This is the 1st time we celebrated Father's Day kat hotel. Selalunya kat rumah je...like any other day. Extra special sebab mamanya baru je baik dengan ayahnye after a short cold war. This is like celebrating the end of another disagreement between us. This would probably be our 'don't know how many wars' .....well, that's is what you called a normal union between a man and a woman. Sekali-sekali kena ada tremor sket, cuma the richter scale differs. What ever the level of the magnitude, the making up tu yang penting.... yang dah kahwin tu faham la... yang belum kahwin will soon discover.

nanti i share gambar we took masa hi tea and how ayahnye was grinning from ear to ear di kelilingi anak-anak. mama nya tukang amik gambar je...

Kitarongge...Afiq

me with the boys when sending off Afiq for National Service

My son, Afiq came home from National Service last Saturday. I'm so relieved that he is home, safely. I was a bag of nerves when we found out that he has been shorlisted for NS. I was in denial really hoping that it was just a mistake. But when I saw his name in the NS listing published in the newspapers, I have to face reality. As the weeks goes by, we prepared all his personal needs for the training with a heavy heart. I was worried that he might fall sick there. Will he be eating well there? will he have enough rest? the questions seem to be endless. You see, my son is allergic to medications especially paracetamol. He would develop swollen and red face whenever he had to take paracetamol. There was one time where he was admitted to the hospital because his face was so swollen, we can't even see his eyes. The doctor feared that this would lead to swollen throat as well and difficulty in breathing and that would be very dangerous. When he has fever we can only give him endless 'air badak' and specially brewed chinese traditional herbs. With the newspaper reports on the death of NS trainees, my worry heightened.

But I had to let go sooner or later. I can't display my uncool behavior in front of my family, especially to my husband. If he sees me worry, he would doubly worry...triple even and with his heart condition that is a no-no.

We sent him off in a chartered bus to NS. Destination, Cancun Park, Pasir Mas, Kelantan. My daughter, Atikah was full of tears that day. It came of a surprise to us as Atikah and her brother would quarrel on almost anything and generally they are not very close. Her big brother was clearly moved with Atikah's burst of tears. He hugged her and coaxed her not to cry as he would only be there for 3 months and before we know it he will be back. Atikah said, "Nanti Tikah nak gaduh dengan siapa lepas ni? Abang tak de..." I will remember that scene for the rest of my life. Writing this down today still bring tears to my eyes. How I pray that my children bond with each other. But as usual, there will always be siblings rivalry and squabbling one time or another. But that morning, they reached a moment where whatever difference that they have between them were gone....(momentarily).

"Nanti Tikah nak gaduh dengan siapa lepas ni?...."

Before NS, my son was an introvert, angry boy, like to keep things to himself. Have few friends. His companion when at home is the computer. He would spend hours with it. He is insecure about his physique. He hates his big feet and there were occassions where he wanted to cut off his feet because it was too big and difficult for us to find a pair of shoes for him. he can get quite emo at times. I refuse to accept defeat from my children. I want them to be positive at all times. I want them to see the positive side of things. Things can't be that bad and that is what I want to instill in them. No matter how difficult it is, there will always be a way. We will always on the lookout for shops that offer big sized shoes. No matter where the shop is my husband and I will look for it. But often those biggest size offered were still small for him. I can understand Afiq's frustration. Afiq came home from NS a different person. He bought a present for all of us at home. He used his NS trainee allowance. We don't expect anything from him because as long as he's home, that's all we want. Although it has only been 2 days since he's home, i noticed that he is more responsive, responsible and at least now he can get along with Atikah without the fighting. After witnessing the effect NS on Afiq, I am for NS anytime. (For those who are sceptical about NS should try and send their children there and you will see the difference. I can only say good things about NS and the more of these youngsters go through NS the better).

We visited Afiq At Kem Cancun, Pasir Mas, Kelantan

No matter how matured he is, I still see him as the little Afiq whom throughout his childhood days was a chubby child (all mothers are like that. the children never grew up no matter how old they are). Love to dance to the music of 4U2C. He was 3 or 4 years old then. He is the baby amongst cousins and used to have his cheeks pinched all the time. Now, he is so much taller than them (can't get to his cheeks anymore, too much distance). When he was 3 or 4, his favourite phrase, 'kitarongge' which he picked up from the nursery. When asked what does that word means, his reply was 'kitarongge.... he he..heh ...' so we stopped asking. We went along with the flow...Afiq is not the smartest boy in class. he does not score high marks in his school subjects but whenever I see his face, there is a certain calmness and innocence. I know mothers will see that in the children, no matter what. But this sense of calmness is a lot different with my other children. The girls exudes confidence and they know exactly what they want and Arif, my youngest, well there are a lot to learn about him...he is only 4 yrs old.

Afiq will be taking a course in culinary in July. His interest in culinary was a shocker to us. This is the first time that he expressed his interest. There was no specific area of interest before this. He wanted to be a rapper. I've heard his composition and I don't understand a word of it. But it seems to be popular and circulated amongst his cyber friends.

I hope that I will be able to nurture his interest in culinary and i have explained to him the real world is not as nice and smooth as what you see on TV. What he watched on 703 channel is not the same thing in real life. It will be heat and hard work. You have to start from the bottom and I hope that he is ready for that. My doa is that he will be able to endure it all and survive. Be a good muslim, good son and a good brother to his sisters and little brother.

'Kitarongge' Afiq...

Happiness

Tonite there will be a private dinner in appreciation to the long service of our xGMD. For the past 39 years he was with the company. He joined the organisation in 1969 and has been with the company ever since. The company was establish in 1967. He was involved with the company's activities from its infancy. We are talking about walking history here. When i first joined the company in 1997 he was very supportive. I was a one person department and he make sure I got all the assistance that I need to do my work. As the time goes by I begin to learn about the man and he can be very difficult. there were times where our opinions differ and sometimes tempers flared. But taking things positively, I learn the hard way. It was something that I'm not used to but I take it as part of growing and learning. No grudge that's for sure. People wonder why I have no grudge. I ask the same thing...

Apa dah jadi?

Malaysia has becoming such an interesting place to stay. You can watch sensational dramas in the newspapers everyday. The politicians are bickering with each other. There seem to be never ending story with our elected leaders. This MP is not in agreement with that MP from the opposition party, Mukriz la, KJ la.. Karpal Singh la.... We the rakyat are caught in the middle and sometimes we end up arguing with family and friends when we take sides on hot issues. But the fact remain, those politicians are politicians and these people are professional actors! They fight in front of the camera during Dewan Negara prosidings but very buddy-buddy when the live telecast is over. They can have nasi lemak, kari kepala ikan and sembang like nothing happened. We the rakyat are deceived. It is not fair to us... We the rakyat just want to live in a peaceful country where the people are so nice with each other, feed our family, go holidays (can only afford local destinations anyway) once in a while. But right now, with all these fights you see everyday, petrol price hike, toll hike, rice price hike, the Cheras Toll fight....what is happening to us???? Can't we live harmoniously? Kena gaduh baru seronok ke???? I think all of us dah jadi macam budak-budak... If all of us have become children....who are the adults? kalau yang tua dah jadi budak, siapa yang jadi orang tua?

GK 3

My long over due entry of my exausting yet educational climb to Gunung Kinabalu.

Before anything else, pose gagah untuk convince myself that I can do this and reach the peak of Kinabalu

The morning of the climb. Full of activities. Semua bangun, mandi and quickly assembling our stuff for the hike and puttting aside those we are leaving in the locker at the Park. Me and Carrie decided to share a porter and all our stuff were into 1 backpack. It is easier and cheaper that way. We share stuff and make no sense to bring the same things. We walked to the reception area of the park with our bags and trolley in tow. Wow!!! the hike has not even started, I felt tired and stressed already. Can’t imagine how its going to be like when we actually go up the trail…

The truth is, I was merely going through the motion. Half excited and half worried. Trying to keep in every detail. Going through the checklist in my mind over and over again. I do not want to go up half the terrain and suddenly…yikes! I left my so…and so….in the other bag and it is in the locker!!!! No tak rela….this is going to be my 1st and final quest to Kinabalu and it better be memorable and I do not want to hamper my trip just because I forgot to bring some of my stuff….NO not going to happen.

We weight our backpack and was about 17kg. RM7/kg. In total RM119. Pay when we get down the mountain tomorrow. Fine with us.

So much activities, vans, 4 x 4 vehicles, more vans to ferry the climbers to the starting point of the trail at Timpohon Gate. There were other goups that morning, amateurs, seasoned, old and young climbers, locals and foreigners. All were with one aim, to conquer the peak of Kinabalu. But before anything else, MUST take breakfast. We were advised to stuff in more carbos. We follow whatever advice given to us. Being such rookie. All advice are good advice. After breakfast, back to the meeting point, in front of the registration office of the park. We were given our name tag and wear this at all times. So we took some pictures, more of ‘before the hike’ and hopefully after comparing that with ‘after the hike’ pictures. Maybe we can maintain that enthusiasm and excitement on our faces when we descend tomorrow.

After the normal pleasantries with the guide who is also our porter, off we went into the van and the starting point is getting nearer. I was having goosebumps, big ones! Everybody was quiet in the van…most being first timers seem to have deep thoughts about the trip. As for me, trying to focus on the scenery..appreciating it and embracing the fresh air and beautiful view. Not giving much thought to the emotional turmoil that was in my mind and the ill-feeling in my tummy. No turning back and the only way is to move forward and do it!!! At the starting point, our guide, Francis briefed us a little bit about the trail to the summit. The do’s and the don’ts. Do take a lot pictures. Don’t throw stuff all over the mountain. Have respect with nature. Don’t have your breaks for more than 4 minutes. There was no need to rush as we have plenty of time to reach Laban Rata. Today we only need to reach Laban Rata where we will ascend to the peak at 2 am. Francis and his partner Doina is whom you typically call someone with ‘tulang besi urat dawai’ Small frame but full of energy and extremely fit. They were also carrying 2 backpacks each. They could easily be carrying more than 30 kg each. Mak oi, kuat nye!!!!

GK2

We meet again for my second posting on my GK climb.

My weekend trips to Batu Caves for so called familiarising myself with the steps of Kinabalu (not really) was equally challenging. My 1st attempt at Batu Caves was scary…not of the monkeys, the citizen of Batu Caves but of my fitness level yang tersangat lah ‘hampehnye’. Fitness level macam ni berangan nak panjat GK? Memang scary and pastinye keje gile….. I told myself. Over and over again I said to myself….Hey…..!!!!!! increase fitness level, better stamina… if you want to reach the peak of GK. I must improve quickly because I see that I might fail in my attempt to conquer GK and I was afraid that my failure will be the joke of my family and friends for generations to come... or at least that was the benchmark I put myself against. Bayangkan being ridiculed by my close friends and family whenever the subject of Gunung Kinabalu crops up and talking about how I failed to conquer Kiinabalu because tak cukup exercise and pancit. That was what I was scared off. Reputation kena jaga woi….!!!!

My 2nd trip mendaki Batu Caves was slightly better and the following weeks, improved a little bit more. Besides Batu Caves, I went to TTwangsa Lake for evening jogs with Carrie. Carrie, a very dear friend. Always encouraging me…always…Carrie hebat….I salute you. Stamina level dia bagus. If only I can have half of her stamina, I’m a happy woman. Though I wanted to go to TTwangsa more often but unfortunately I was not able to do that. Sometimes, I was bogged down with work and kalau pergi pun, dah nak gelap. Safety First must always be our motto.

My fitness level did not improve much but I still took that flight to Kota Kinabalu with Faithhope (FH), Li Li, Rachel, Penny, Khalidah, Melissa on 20th March 2008. My maiden flight to Sabah actually. Never been there and my 1st visit to Sabah was to conquer GK. Don’t play-play, you….

The flight to KK was ok. I spend my time bersembang dengan FH. I came to know things about her that I never knew before. Thank you for sharing. FH and I can talk for hours from one topic to another. Tak rasa langsung the flight which took more than 2 hours bila dengan FH. We laughed a lot too. We noticed the rest of our group were either sleeping or staring out at the clouds. We spent quality time together, catching up with one another and reminiscing old times. I have known FH since the 90’s. We always stay in contact all these years. We also have similar experiences and have this common understanding and stand on certain issues. FH was the culprit who lured me to be part of this GK climb group. Kalau dia tak ajak, sure sampai sekarang dok dengar stori orang lain je about GK. Thank you my friend.

Sampai KK, Carrie and the rest of the team including our team leader, Evie with her husband and 2 of her friends joined us at the airport. From there, we stopped for lunch and beli food stuff for our climb. Kalau ada yang nak tambah. I bought mineral water, some bread to be shared with others. Nak makan dengan sambal tumis ikan bilis which I brought from home, konon la…

After lunch, off we went to Kinabalu National Park. Another 2 hours trip, naik van sewa. The 1st hour, the weather was sunny but as we were about entering the 2nd hour of the trip, hujan all the way….we passed all those smalll towns which I can find in my readings about Sabah. Along the way, jumpa signage, Tamparuli….hey…lagu tu kan? Macam mana ye lagunye…At that time…I was humming to the tune and my mind was going through the steps of those dancers…..apa ya nama tarian tu???? Hampeh betul…tak ingat le plak..Fail…fail….

I enjoyed the view as we were nearing Kinabalu National Park. The view is beautiful. Although I was also enjoying the time with FH none other than bersembang and laughing away, we do stop a moment or two to appreciate the beautiful scenery. Rasa macam nak naik ke Genting je tapi the landscape here is a lot different from Semenanjung. Rasanya 3 kali turun naik bukit and macam nak naik ke Genting but here the mountains are higher and bigger. We see a lot of valleys too. Misty and cold because of the rain. I did try to capture some shots but the camera did not do justice to the actual view. Being there, feeling it and comparing it through captured pictures are so much different. But it gave me the satisfaction of enjoying God’s gift. How it soothes the soul. Kebesaran ALLAH…Savor it my dear friends was the only thing I could think at that moment.

Pemandangan pergunungan yang cukup indah…sejauh saujana mata memandang…bumi menghijau. Here it hit me… keciknye aku ni….. That would be quite difficult to feel sometimes because I’m so used to being the taller and bigger (as in physical structure) than most people I know. Termenong sekejap… I’m such a small part of this big world. Walaupun gitu, we play big role in which will make this world go round. Hish…heavy le plak…

Bila sampai Kinabalu National Park, I took this shot. The mountain nampak gagah dan mencabar ku....

We reached Kinabalu National Park and it was still raining and bila turun dari van, the temperature was cold. Berapa celcius ye? Tak tau le plak tapi cukup la untuk pakai my track top for the rest of the time there. I ni boleh juga tahan cuaca sejuk sebab lemak yang dah jadi pemastautin tetap di sekitar badan ni can make me warm. Tapi di situ, I was wearing the jacket most of the time. We stayed in a dorm for 6. While the rest were busy unpacking, chatting etc, I also tried to relax and lepak a little tapi my mind can’t stop from thinking about what’s gonna happen tomorrow, the 1st climbing day. Don’t know what to expect.

The facilities provided beside the bed and shower are we can also take hot water if you feel like having coffee of a bowl of maggie mee. Cakap pasal shower, have you tried mandi dengan air ais. Ala…macam kalau kita order sky juice kat gerai tu…..macam tu la… and now imagine cukup banyak untuk mandi. Mula-mula ada le air panas masa kita baru-baruu nak basahkan kaki, tangan….and bila kita nak bilas sabun, syampoo and right in the middle of it…Heeyyyyy!!!! What happen???? EEEeeeee!!!!! Sejuuuukkkkkk!!!!!! Mana pegi air panas ni?????…..you have no choice but to continue with the rest of your bath with ice water…..kuar bilik air, terasa kepala kebas, tangan kebas, semua kebas la…masuk bilik, terus bertapa bawah blanket. Panaskan badan kalau tidak, biru kaki tangan. Macam ni agaknye kalau kat overseas kot…bila tak de air panas, kebas….. sebab tu le aku duduk kat Mesia je.

Back to my story…..

Dalam sibuk-sibuk berkemas, ada mamat ni datang kat out dorm, offer urut. Heyyyyy!!!!mamat offer urut???? ok juga kan? sedap sket.... refleksologi le oi!!!! urut kaki je...jangan nak pikir ke lain. dapat longgarkan otot, mana tau esok selamba sket panjat gunung.... all the girls interested nak urut. Kalau kaki je, RM50.00 and kalau add in for neck massage, tambah sket lagi, berapa ntah. I donno coz i did not take that package. Sakit juga refleksologi ni ye... amongst my friends, ada yang rileks je kena urut , ada juga yang mengeliat sampai nak berdiri tahan sakit, silap-silap ada kena sepak kang! Sepanjang urut, Penny and FH yang paling bising. Aduh..sana..aduh sini...muka tak sah citer, herot ada, kerut ada... in the end I paid RM50 and RM10 for transportation. Tadi tak cakap pun pasai transportation fee. So there are 8 of us and everybody had to pay RM10 each for that. Senang betul buat duit. 40 minutes of massage, u can get between RM60 - RM80.

That night, after our reflexologi session, semua lapar but dinner was not included in our package. So, we either cook our own dinner or eat in at the nearby cafe. Kalau setakat maggi mee…alahai…had enough of that during my hostel days that could last me a life time.

Here, coffee house ada tapi you have to walk a little but it closes by 8.00pm. It was still raining as dinner time approached. Evie said there’s a cafe at the entrance of the park. Although kedai tu lebih jauh dari the coffe house, we had to pergi juga sebab perut sedang lapar menggila. Jalan perlahan-lahan dalam hujan renyai-renyai and cuaca sejuk. Berbekalkan torchlight kecil, kami mencari habuan nak isi perut. Sampai at the café, we ordered all the heavy stuff, nasi goreng la, mee goreng la…etc…Although the service was slow, the food was ok la… we all makan and gelak ketawa. Memang bersuka ria je…all girls. Went back to the dorm and we finish unpacking and repacking. We only need to bring yang perlu je for the climb. Food, drinks and enough warm clothings. We had to leave some of our things at the park's office as they provide lockers for that purpose. Bila semua dah settle, i turned in about midnite. Still unable to sleep due to the cold temperature and also the anxiousness about the climb tomorrow. Suspen betul....!!!

Kak Chik 2

Another poem by Kak Chik. The incident with her friends mesti menyayat hati jika diamati bait-bait pusinye... her farewell dedication...

Dedicated to them
When I'm gone to MARA
When means I'll no more see your 4 faces
Do have the courtesy and grace to communicate at the earliest possible phrase
In that place, your faces no more shall I find
But memories will linger in my mind
The 'type pf friendship' weve together found
Holds on the rest of my time
The winds and the rain for your names they cry
Through these I've bid good bye
With tears that can be survived!
Anyhow dear friends, forget me not....

Kak Chik

Below is a poem by my second sister. I called her Kak Chik. Kak Chik passed away peacefully on 8 July 1976 in a car accident. I lost my parents in the same accident...Al Fatihah...
I found her note book years back and it is still in my possession. Honestly, sepanjang hayat arwah, I don't know her that well. I was still budak-budak lagi masa tu, main dengan kawan-kawan lebih penting. What I can remember about her is that, dia ni garang, full of anger (don't know for what reason), popular, ramai kawan, head girl, played hockey for her school. She was very good at decorating the house. kalau rumah bersepah, dia akan naik tocang, scream at you to tidy up the place or she would throw all your things dalam tong sampah or buang terus bawah bukit (Masa kecik dulu, rumah kami di atas bukit, or macam busut je sekarang ni. Bukit dah mendap). Well, kalau dia good mood, she will tidy up the house. Kalau dia dalam mood nak kemas rumah, adik-adik jangan kacau, siap le...ada yang kena nanti. She has this strong oriental features. One of my daughters looks like her. When my second daughter was born, I was so moved with her features, oh....how she looks so much like Kak Chik.

The poem below was written by Kak Chik probably when she was getting ready to leave home to further her studies in ITM (now UiTM), dedidated to all her close friends. I don't know what actually happenend between them tapi bunyi macam serius yang teramat.

My Greatest Mistake
I've broke my promise
I've hurt my very best friend
I've dropped an adorable man's pride
I've been egoistic to those I'm known to
I've done something without twice in thinking
I've been a child all these while
Though I know I'm a matured woman
And still I acted so & so
Just don't know for what reason
It came naturally
I'be been praising my ownself, butI've also degraded my ownself
What had I being up to of course.....no reason, I guess
Those were my mistakes
Being involved in it was sure heart-killing!
Never mind, what is done cannot be undone...
Just treat it as a guide for future trials