my ben 10 is bandaged...

sometimes arif forgets to be careful especially when he is with girls. while i was upstairs bz with the preparation for ami's wedding this coming weekend, he crashed into the sliding door while running around the house with his cousins, yeah...girls. what i saw was broken glasses splatered on the floor and yes, blood. so much of blood. he was bleeding profusely and the blood was from his head. when u see yr child bleeding, there was only one thing to do, stop it as fast as i can and i cant afford to be panicky. he was blue, pale...cold hands and feet. he was about to doze off. he was in shock. i dont want him to go into seizure. i was trying to stay as calm as possible and i dont want him to see me out of control. he must not see me break down. i said many times, "arif dont sleep, arif tak boleh tidor. u must stay awake or else arif pengsan. he cooperated. he said "...ok..ok...arif tak tidor." "mama, i did not see the door. it was invisible." mak ngah and amirul's (ami's fiance) quick thinking helped me take arif to the emergency centre, sjmc, subang jaya.

arif displayed strength throughout the ordeal. strength that i never knew is capable of a 6 yr old. strong like his ayah when need to endure pain. he did not cry although the nurses were cleaning his wounds. i know how painful it is but he remain quiet. perhaps he was trying to comprehend what had happened, the strange surrounding at the emergency centre. i was worried coz i cant see his reaction. it is more worrying that way. it is normal to cry for a child who is going through such pain. it is ok to cry. it is ok to scream...it is ok. But he remained quiet. when i asked him what was he thinking....he said, 'nothing'. hold his hand most of the time and assuring him all will be ok in no time. he finally whispered to me, faintly, "mama...it hurts...very-very hurt". Oh God, please...i am willing to go through the pain anytime instead of my baby... it is so heart wrenching to see your baby lying there in pain. where the hell is the doctor?????? told arif, i need to go outside for a while. left him a few minutes. need to take some breather. outside, i saw a familiar face. ami was there, although took me a few seconds to recognise her.

my ben 10, no need omnitrix arif

while waiting for the surgeon, still can give a smile for the camera, although faintly

we had to wait for the specialist, a plastic surgeon as the wounds were quite serious. the longest hour ever in my life. he was shivering and screaming with pain when the doctor injected anesthetic into all the wounds before she started the stitching. there were an average of 5-7 stitches at every cut and there are 7....yes...that much!

the stitching

called nik aman after maghrib and when he reached the hospital with marsya, arif was done and ready to go home. marsya was all teary eyes when she saw little brother like that and was with him all the time. thank you mak ngah, ami and amirul for being there.

ready to go home....

Ehem...ehem....

Arif loves to have shots of him taken wearing his Ben 10 omnitrix, using my sony hphone. All sorts of pose with his beloved omnitrix (betul ke eja ni? belasah la)....


Amongst those many shots of him, there was one of mine wearing a bridal crown...(taken while helping out my niece, or rather, nyibuk to choose her wedding dress)....i said to Arif, while pointing at the screen of my hphone...


"look Arif, dont i look pretty wearing a crown?"

Arif with a glance on the hp screen, said........"mama, that is not a crown......., its a TIARA..."

ehem...ehem..."oh a TIARA.."

What a way to go...

Satu Malaysia is talking about the gruesome murder of 4 unfortunate malays. Datuk Soosilawati Lawiya (DSL) and 3 other men, close aides of DSL were murdered in cold blood..and semua rentetan peristiwa which led to the death of the 4 were splashed all over the media for all to read and digest. Syaitan memang diikat dalam bulan puasa tapi manusia is beyond that bila dah buat the same MO sejak sekian lama. When were are angry, we sometimes can't see the implication of our actions and as expected. some voices out there are igniting ethnic cleansing, politicising it and macam2 lagi rubbish talk. Semua nak membawa ke arah feeling of remorse and hate.

DSL, nama yg disegani dalam industri kosmetik tempatan. Perhaps she was one of the first few wanita yg berjaya dalam peniagaan ini. Made her fortune from hard work. Im sure she was a shrewd businesswoman and i have heard talks about how she handled her business. Tapi itu business, must be firm and shrewd or else kena pijak dengan orang lain. Kalau tidak macam mana nak build her business and at the same time raising her children, being a single parent. and all. Nothing else but my full admiration for such grit and determination.

Met her in person a few times in my line of work. Nouvelles Vissage was the main sponsor for a program called Anugerah Hari Ibu, anjuran majalah Keluarga-Seri Dewi, terbitan Karangkraf. I represented my company as one of the co-sponsors. During the press conference to announce the program, she came alone, no entourage. Her speech was loosely scribbled on a piece of paper perhaps torn from her note book or exercise book, perhaps wrote it on the way there. Simple and straight to the point. She was on first name basis with the editors and yes, she was friendly and humble (love her accessories though...hehehehh). There were other occasion where i met her again. i was amongst the crowd especially in events organised by Kumpulan Karangkraf

The last time our path crossed was on 1st August 2010. Sat beside her at my niece's wedding reception. She was in pink kaftan and selendang. Simply stunning and yes, i like her accessories then too. She came with her husband, yes the 3rd publicity shy husband. Friendly and introduced herself to me even before i do. Was about to start a conversation, but soon after she was whisked away and placed at the high table with the bride and groom.

And now she's gone. Due to her high profile status, he missing person report by her family was picked up by the media and it went out of control when the police found her car and started to pick-up suspects, the rest are the stories u read in the newspapers. Right now it is believed that there could be about 20 persons dead committed by the same suspects. 20! Crazy!!!! Terlalu ramai dah dibunuh, bakar and dibuang abu...another 1 or 3 does not make any difference. Kalau ditangkap, with enough evidence and put on trial, the suspects akan turun naik mahkamah for all 20 cases and they will surely live longer than most of us under the very care and money paid by the tax payers. And if found guilty pun, mati sekali je. Tak kan la nak gantung for 20 times kot!

As for DSL, she worked hard for her fortune. She was merely demanding for her money, rightfully hers. We will do the same when another decided not to honour their side of the bargain. Due to her high profile status, the police have to work extra hard on the case and the media frenzy added more to the pressure and right now the police is re-opening cases which have links to the main suspect. Kalau DSL is just like one of us, would the police take any heed to the missing person report placed by the family???

Her kampung folks say that DSL was a kind hearted and giving person. Will always extend her help whenever she can. Perhaps this is her destiny. Helping the dead? Helping other families of the dead find answers...Putting a stop to a monster, evil man but at the expense of losing her life. Kita tak tahu caturan Allah SWT...

My prayers goes to DSL's children, her mother, husband and the rest of her family. They lost a loving mother, daughter, wife. May they find strength during this trying time.

Al-Fatihah.....

I don't ask for much

"mama tak nak banyak...just send me for holiday round the world or at least a different destination of my choice every year. this year marsya sponsor, next year, atikah and the year after...abang. i will take arif with me buat teman and also angkat all my shopping bags and luggage."

"eeee....mama!!!!", jeritan suara anak yang kurang senang dengan hajat mamanya...

imagine.....along the way from all those trips i went to and about to plan for the next trip, arif will say..."mama! London again???? or Florence again??? we went there just last January. lets go Disney World la maaaaa.........." "I want to meet Mickey, Minnie...." "when u have your own kids ask them to take u there. As for mama, i want to go London...again!" arif with his longest muncung ever, displaying his displeasure and annoyance for such remark from beloved mama.

....haih.....syoknya berangan....FREE ALLLL THE WAAAAAYYYYYY......

hish....bersawang blog ni...

uhuk..uhuk...uhuk....(batuk mengade....) habuk menusuk kerongkong and hidung....Extreme injection of fresh air is needed here....seriously. My blog is so the berhabuk....sungguh lama tak update. bukan tak de stori mori nak distorikan..tapi virus M(alas) bermaharajalela.......

What more with the recent big event at the work place which required TLC and big attention from hot mama here....and other deadlines...and other worldly miserable issues....no choice but to shelve my blog for a while...

but i will be back...with a vengeance (really ar????)...updating u people with the latest happenings (and the penings....like as if)....wait ar....next change ar.....like.....sooooooooooon......!!!!!!(the soonest....heheheh....)

baju apa?

my normal days usually end with short conversation with arif before we doze off to slumberland. while lying in bed, we would chat about amongst others, what he did in school and which cartoons he watched today. we would be giggling as we poke fun at each other, tickling him. sometimes i would be saying things that crossed my mind and arif would respond in his own way.....

"hhhmmmm...arif, mama tak tau la pakai baju apa esok...." and arif responded, dengan selambanya....."baju sekolah...."

Berdesing

last nite, right about 1 am, blackout lagi...tetiber the house sangat sunyi...berdesing telinga due to the silence. mmmppphhhh.....ala...panas le pulak. "mama...why is it so dark?" Arif has woken up and sitting on the bed. I said, 'letrik tak de." "Oooo...letrik dah habis?"

....................

Every shing a ling a ling...when they started to sing...

karen carpenter's soothing, magical voice is in the background. swaying to the music of the carpenters (yup, 70's...so sue me!). me, staring at my laptop, trying hard to write or at least add 3 more pages to my very 1st novel. i have this strategy in my drive to get this novel complete as soon as i can....at least 3 pages/day x 6 months = 540 pages. My very 1st novel by yr end!!!

Hmmmm...that sucks! the same strategy for the past year, heheheh...

OMG!!!! ideas and thoughts seems to be pouring at the odd hours and at weird places. in the car, while having lunch, in the loo...jeeezzzz...(actually more ideas when in the loo). Cik Ketumbar said that i need to get it jotted down as soon as the ideas are gushing in (in the loo???) Yes...i did that, if i happened to have paper and pen handy. i do have a note book in the car and it is difficult to scribbble while driving and hoping the ilham will stay long enough for me to write it down when i reach the office. when the ilham is pouring, i welcome traffic jams so much...!!!!

and now...where was i?

"every sha la la la, every wo oo still shine.....every shing a ling a ling when they started to sing...so fine....when they get to the part where he's breaking her heart....it can really make me cry, just like before....its yesterday once more......................"

AF lagi?.... Lagi2 AF....

while watching AF....eh...yang ke berapa ni? tak kira la tapi same resipi je...budak2 nyanyi, juri give comments..the same....want to switch channels but my girls want to watch and laugh at the contestants...cheh...bebudak sekarang...anak aku juga....(mesti ikut perangai ayahnyer....heheheh)...anyway, 5th week (it seems) tapi rasa macam tengok konsert sekolah....was hoping that standard ada sikit atas ke...nope...dah tu bila budak2 ni kena voted out, they blame the viewers for not voting...cheh...ada aku kisah? kalau performance budak2 ni ada elok jugak pun... wa vote punnnn.....macam biasa komen adlin straight to the face...blunt, take it or leave it attitude, like gooooodddddd la...tapikan apasal rambut adlin so the aawww..awww? remos yang cover separuh his forehead. His comments macam brutal tapi from neck up, sungguh jambu...eeeuuuwwww. Kalau macam Pak Nil nak cover dahi dengan juraian rambut yang trendy...maka projection Pak Nil....ala-alaaaaaa nice guy la.....Juri jemputan...well, jemput2 je la. Kenapa ASTRO dok buat lagi AF ni? clearly, not many followers and voters...sponsors ada ke? ntah!...jeeeeezzzzz.....mama...continue with yr work oi!!!!..(bila kepala hotak tepu...cakap pun merapu)

I avoid watching citer seram

"Apa tu bu?" Evi bertanya. Aku mengambil langkah untuk tidak bercakap banyak, cuma sekadar menjawab, 'tak de apa, ubat je'. aku dok sibuk meletak garam bukit yang telah dititiskan dgn minyak essential ramuan rahsia dengan bau yang cukup semerbak dalam bilik nye. jee pesan, letak dalam bilik dia and places of work, the kitchen especially. selang tak sampai beberapa minit, aku masih lagi di dapur, Evi datang berlari padaku, 'Bu, bau ni busuk la. kenapa ya saya rasa pening?' Bu, saya takut...ada benda hitam nak masuk badan saya...dan seketika itu juga, Evi rebah. aku hanya sempat menyambut tubuhnya daripada rebah ke lantai dan terus memangku Evi. AAAhhh...sudah....'Ayah!' (panggilan manja kepada my hb), Evi pengsan!. Ayah datang berlari ke dapur, dengan muka yang equally panic. kenapa pengsan? hb tanya. mana i tau. apa nak buat ni? hb tanya lagi macam la aku tahu. 'Evi....Evi...bangun...aku cuba tepuk-tepuk mukanye', masih pejam. badannye stiff and no reflex. Adoiyai...aku memang panik. dalam kepala hotak dok pikir, apa nak buat ni. ni anak orang ni....if anything should happen to her, police report, immigration papers, cant go to work, anak2 sekolah.....damn!


Minutes later, Wait, she is opening her eyes. 'Evi...evi ok ke?" tak de suara...just dark, scary stare at me. her face was....isshhh....meremang bulu roma... damn! what now? No voice, but her eyes were following where i was going, what i was doing. This is not Evi. tangan dok sibuk call jee masa dia pitam and Jee pun terkejut. kenapa pengsan? u tell me la. I tak sangka jadi gini, jee said,. Alamak ai! Jee finally said, "pls call for ustaz and mintak pulihkan dia. itu bukan dia lagi tu." "yus! help!" Yus was jumpy at the other end...fast forward of the whole incident to her. yus said she will ask hb for ustaz help. please..... this is red alert panic! a few minutes later, she called and gave me the ustaz's contact number, Ustaz Ramli, a close friend to Yus's hb. terus call and fast forward again of the whole incident. We were lucky, Alhamdulillah Ustaz Ramli sudi bantu and will come over to the house as soon. He is staying somewhere in Puchong area. In the meantime, he asked us to make sure that Evi is not left alone and make sure that she is comfortable. would not want her to do any harm to us. Alamak, harm! Where are the children? "Anak2 semua naik atas, jangan turun unless mama kata ok." anak2 berlari naik atas.

Sementara tunggu Ustaz ramli, hb called Tok Imam. Tok Imam@fleet owner of school vans@ex-technician@imam of nearby surau. he came alone. Alamak! tak de troops...Tok Imam sorang je ke? Tak pe...better than both of us yang tak tahu hujung pangkal nak buat apa in situation like this. Tok Imam ada experience benda2 gini. Evi kena rasuk. Ntah benda apa masuk dia ni. Tok Imam baca apa patut, ayat2 suci dan bertanya dengan 'Evi'. "Siapa kamu ni", Ishhh...marah 'Evi'...baca ayat dan air disapu di muka Evi, tak menjadi juga. Tok Iman cuba lagi. Evi pandang Tok Iman...dan ketawa mengejek paling seram pernah aku dengar. tetiber aku rasa sedang menonton scene 'Exorcist' bila Linda Blair sedang mengilai mengejek paderi yang sedang menggunakan 'holy water' dan membaca doa2 dari kitabnya untuk menghalau iblis yang merasuk... Linda Blair@iblis hanya mengeliat bosan.

Tok Imam kata, "apa yang ada dalam budak ni bukan calang-calang, kuat. Takat ni je saya boleh buat. Kena cari orang yang pandai berubat pulihkan orang yang kena rasuk makhluk halus ni." Makhluk halus. Evi kena rasuk makhluk halus.

the longest time ever masa tunggu ustaz ramli to the house. dia sesat pulak sebab not familiar with our housing area. sabar...sabar...Evi dah berapa kali pengsan and jaga, pengsan lagi....aku dah lenguh dan berpeluh kat dapur ni. Time dah masuk pukul 10 lebih. Other households dah winding down to rest and sleep, but here I am tengah bertempur dengan persaan takut, cuak dan panik all in one. mana nak pikir anak2, mana nak pikir Evi yang meracau cakap apa2 and pengsan dan pengsan lagi, mana nak pikir hb yang ada heart condition. kalau ditoreh muka ni, tak berdarah pun rasanye. punyer le pucat. tapi kena in control coz so many at stake. i aged 10 years that nite.

Ustaz Ramli finally reached the house, "Assalamualaikum...." "Waalaikumsalam, sambut my hb. Allah hu Akbar, Alhamdulillah....Allah memudahkan perjalanan Ustaz Ramli ke rumah kami. Evi, aku papah ke ruang tamu. kesiannye tengok budak ni. Baru je kerja dengan kami tak sampai lima bulan. Rajin, budak ni tapi ada yang tak kena dengan dia. But cant really put my finger on it. But everytime when i reach home, i feel the house is filthy, walaupun dia kata dah kemas. cant really cook so kena ajar banyak benda kat budak ni. baru 19 years old then. Evi rajin melayan my girls. Evi kata nak kerja lama dengan kami sebab dia rasa tak nak balik Indon. Tunggu la after 5 years baru balik. We just recently found out that before she came over to work, just delivered a baby girl. left her baby with her mother.

When she first came, so much energy and want to do everything. one day, just about 3 days with us, she decided to rearrange the furnitures in the whole house, right from the living room to the bedroom, all 3 of them. when we reached home, Surprised!!!! "Bu saya tukar sikit. Ibu suka? " We were between terperanjat and kagum. Why? Coz she moved all the furnitures, beds and almari baju with everything in it all on her own. All those within one day. When the girls got back from school in the afternoon, the furnitures dah rearranged. We looked at each other. Adoi...kena psycho ni. "Evi, buat semua ni sorang je?" Aku tanya...Evi tersengih bangga, "ye Bu" "Siapa tolong?" "Tak de siapa tolong" Lagi aku terbeliak biji mata. "Evi buat semua ni?" lagi sekali aku tanya soklan bodoh tu. Hb dearest diam. Dia cuma tumpang tercengang. Tak de siapa tolong, katanya lagi...."Hmmmm...ok gak Evi buat ni. Mesti penat kan? (statement bodoh lagi. mestilah. tapi dia tak nampak penat. lagi ceria and excited adala sebab dapat surprised us. Boy! were we surprised). "Tapi Evi.. saya tak berapa suka la Evi. Baru saja ubah susun ni. Esok Evi tukar balik. Tak payah buat semua esok. Buat sikit2 pun tak pe." Aku tahu Evi kecewa, tapi dia cuba senyum. Tawar je... Evi angguk. I know, I was being unreasonable. But I can't take the new decor, so the serabut with all the furnitures all arranged at the centre....aaaarrrggghhh serabutla!!!

"Macam mana dia angkat semua furniture sorang?" me and hb compared notes. "Ntah2 dia incredible hulk and menurun bila semua orang tak de." Hey, jangan cakap gitu, Arif dengan dia bila kita tak de. Dia yang jaga. Sampai sudah... we failed to find reasons how she managed to do it. We brushed it all away and considered it as one of her many abilities. She continued with her work and she was really hard working. Ever ready to impress us and would drop everything when we call for her. Evi sayang Arif.

"Hey, siapa kamu kacau budak ni. Siapa dalam badan Evi ni?" tanya Ustaz Ramli sambil memicit ibu jari kaki Evi. "Aduh...sakit, sakit pak"...Evi merintih...menangis. Aku masih meriba dan memegang bahu Evi, kuat. Evi meronta, lagi kuat aku pegang dia. "Kalau sakit, keluar. ni bukan tempat kamu. kalau kamu tak nak sakit, baik keluar." Ustaz Ramli mengugut keras. Siapa nama kamu? "mona...." Evi jawab perlahan. "Hah, Mona...kamu asal dari mana?" tanya Ustaz. "Jauh...dari bukit sana" bukit mana pulak ni. Aku tahu la belakang rumah aku ada bukit tapi tak kan la from there. "Bukit mana?" "jauh..."...ni mesti tumpang dari mana ni? terang ustaz kepada kami. "Ada pergi mana2 sebelum ni?" tanya Ustaz. Hb baru balik outstation a few days ago, ada worksyop kat Genting. AAAhhhh....bukit...jauh....Sah, ayahnye bawak balik 'Mona' dari Genting. Memang hb balik was way past midnite and balik pun masuk rumah tak de precaution apa2, belasah je. Padan muka kami. Lain kali pesan orang2 tua, dengar. Kalau balik dari jauh, malam gini, kena ikut petua dan pantang larangnya. Kan dah ada yang ikut. Hish....

"Kenapa kamu ada kat sini?", Ustaz Ramli tanya lagi sambil terus memicit ibu jari kaki Evi. "Saja suka. Sini seronok. Ramai kawan." kata Evi. Suka kat sini. Hah, ramai kawan? Ada berapa ni? Ustaz Ramli baca lagi ayat-ayat suci. Time already way past midnite. Evi menjerit dan pengsan lagi. Let her sleep. Ustaz kata. Bila Evi jaga, she looked ok. 'Mona' dah balik. Sebelum Mona, ada budak kecik, ada yang langsung tak cakap apa, cuma dengus kasar dan garang dengan mata hitam yang macam nak telan je Ustaz. Mata tu juga pandang aku macam nak telan. "Apa pandang2????? Apa kamu ingat aku takut? Keluar!!! Ini rumah aku. Kamu keluar sekarang!!!" Yup, I said that. screaming my head off at 'Evi'. Evi stared. I was between tired, geram and takut. Tak tau mana datangnya berani masa tu. But i was so stressed. tired and a long nite. Lepas tu aku dah tak takut dah. This is my house, my family and yang lain2 tak berkenaan boleh GET OUT!!!

Ustaz Ramli masih meneruskan bacaan dan cuba merawat Evi. I think dah nak masuk pukul 3 pagi baru la Evi nampak ok. Ustaz Ramli siapkan air penawar. Lada hitam dengan garam kasar untuk "pagar rumah". Taburkan sekeliling rumah dgn bacaan ayat Qursi. Semoga makhluk halus tidak masuk lagi. Ustaz Ramli's opinion of Evi. Evi memang 'tak sihat'. Masa dia datang kerja kat Mesia, she must have eaten something and that is already in her and that has weaken her. She becomes a satellite for all these makhluk untuk b enda2 ni masuk dan keluar using her body. Hish...ada byk lagi la Ustaz Ramli cakap. Takut and meremang bulu roma entah berapa ribu kali sepanjang masa tu. Tapi Ustaz Ramli pesan, kita tak boleh takut dengan benda ni sebab manusia lebih superior.

Aku lepas tu jadi nurse jaga Evi for the next 3 days sebelum kami hantar dia balik Indonesia. When i broke the news to her that i have no choice but to release her. Boleh bayangkan betapa sedihnya dia. Could not bear to look at her face. Bukan tak kesian tapi my family comes first. Buatnya ada insiden menurun lagi lepas ni, how? Arif kecik lagi masa tu, will be with her. No, dare not take the risk.

Masa Evi agak sober, she related to me apa yang dia nampak and those things she saw was only between Evi and I. I dont share in detail with dear hb pun. Even on the day we sent her back, macam2 dugaan...haih...itu citer lain.

This is the reason why i dont like to watch citer seram....Why pay money for that when I went through live performance?