sometimes arif forgets to be careful especially when he is with girls. while i was upstairs bz with the preparation for ami's wedding this coming weekend, he crashed into the sliding door while running around the house with his cousins, yeah...girls. what i saw was broken glasses splatered on the floor and yes, blood. so much of blood. he was bleeding profusely and the blood was from his head. when u see yr child bleeding, there was only one thing to do, stop it as fast as i can and i cant afford to be panicky. he was blue, pale...cold hands and feet. he was about to doze off. he was in shock. i dont want him to go into seizure. i was trying to stay as calm as possible and i dont want him to see me out of control. he must not see me break down. i said many times, "arif dont sleep, arif tak boleh tidor. u must stay awake or else arif pengsan. he cooperated. he said "...ok..ok...arif tak tidor." "mama, i did not see the door. it was invisible." mak ngah and amirul's (ami's fiance) quick thinking helped me take arif to the emergency centre, sjmc, subang jaya.
arif displayed strength throughout the ordeal. strength that i never knew is capable of a 6 yr old. strong like his ayah when need to endure pain. he did not cry although the nurses were cleaning his wounds. i know how painful it is but he remain quiet. perhaps he was trying to comprehend what had happened, the strange surrounding at the emergency centre. i was worried coz i cant see his reaction. it is more worrying that way. it is normal to cry for a child who is going through such pain. it is ok to cry. it is ok to scream...it is ok. But he remained quiet. when i asked him what was he thinking....he said, 'nothing'. hold his hand most of the time and assuring him all will be ok in no time. he finally whispered to me, faintly, "mama...it hurts...very-very hurt". Oh God, please...i am willing to go through the pain anytime instead of my baby... it is so heart wrenching to see your baby lying there in pain. where the hell is the doctor?????? told arif, i need to go outside for a while. left him a few minutes. need to take some breather. outside, i saw a familiar face. ami was there, although took me a few seconds to recognise her.
we had to wait for the specialist, a plastic surgeon as the wounds were quite serious. the longest hour ever in my life. he was shivering and screaming with pain when the doctor injected anesthetic into all the wounds before she started the stitching. there were an average of 5-7 stitches at every cut and there are 7....yes...that much!
called nik aman after maghrib and when he reached the hospital with marsya, arif was done and ready to go home. marsya was all teary eyes when she saw little brother like that and was with him all the time. thank you mak ngah, ami and amirul for being there.