Kitarongge...Afiq

me with the boys when sending off Afiq for National Service

My son, Afiq came home from National Service last Saturday. I'm so relieved that he is home, safely. I was a bag of nerves when we found out that he has been shorlisted for NS. I was in denial really hoping that it was just a mistake. But when I saw his name in the NS listing published in the newspapers, I have to face reality. As the weeks goes by, we prepared all his personal needs for the training with a heavy heart. I was worried that he might fall sick there. Will he be eating well there? will he have enough rest? the questions seem to be endless. You see, my son is allergic to medications especially paracetamol. He would develop swollen and red face whenever he had to take paracetamol. There was one time where he was admitted to the hospital because his face was so swollen, we can't even see his eyes. The doctor feared that this would lead to swollen throat as well and difficulty in breathing and that would be very dangerous. When he has fever we can only give him endless 'air badak' and specially brewed chinese traditional herbs. With the newspaper reports on the death of NS trainees, my worry heightened.

But I had to let go sooner or later. I can't display my uncool behavior in front of my family, especially to my husband. If he sees me worry, he would doubly worry...triple even and with his heart condition that is a no-no.

We sent him off in a chartered bus to NS. Destination, Cancun Park, Pasir Mas, Kelantan. My daughter, Atikah was full of tears that day. It came of a surprise to us as Atikah and her brother would quarrel on almost anything and generally they are not very close. Her big brother was clearly moved with Atikah's burst of tears. He hugged her and coaxed her not to cry as he would only be there for 3 months and before we know it he will be back. Atikah said, "Nanti Tikah nak gaduh dengan siapa lepas ni? Abang tak de..." I will remember that scene for the rest of my life. Writing this down today still bring tears to my eyes. How I pray that my children bond with each other. But as usual, there will always be siblings rivalry and squabbling one time or another. But that morning, they reached a moment where whatever difference that they have between them were gone....(momentarily).

"Nanti Tikah nak gaduh dengan siapa lepas ni?...."

Before NS, my son was an introvert, angry boy, like to keep things to himself. Have few friends. His companion when at home is the computer. He would spend hours with it. He is insecure about his physique. He hates his big feet and there were occassions where he wanted to cut off his feet because it was too big and difficult for us to find a pair of shoes for him. he can get quite emo at times. I refuse to accept defeat from my children. I want them to be positive at all times. I want them to see the positive side of things. Things can't be that bad and that is what I want to instill in them. No matter how difficult it is, there will always be a way. We will always on the lookout for shops that offer big sized shoes. No matter where the shop is my husband and I will look for it. But often those biggest size offered were still small for him. I can understand Afiq's frustration. Afiq came home from NS a different person. He bought a present for all of us at home. He used his NS trainee allowance. We don't expect anything from him because as long as he's home, that's all we want. Although it has only been 2 days since he's home, i noticed that he is more responsive, responsible and at least now he can get along with Atikah without the fighting. After witnessing the effect NS on Afiq, I am for NS anytime. (For those who are sceptical about NS should try and send their children there and you will see the difference. I can only say good things about NS and the more of these youngsters go through NS the better).

We visited Afiq At Kem Cancun, Pasir Mas, Kelantan

No matter how matured he is, I still see him as the little Afiq whom throughout his childhood days was a chubby child (all mothers are like that. the children never grew up no matter how old they are). Love to dance to the music of 4U2C. He was 3 or 4 years old then. He is the baby amongst cousins and used to have his cheeks pinched all the time. Now, he is so much taller than them (can't get to his cheeks anymore, too much distance). When he was 3 or 4, his favourite phrase, 'kitarongge' which he picked up from the nursery. When asked what does that word means, his reply was 'kitarongge.... he he..heh ...' so we stopped asking. We went along with the flow...Afiq is not the smartest boy in class. he does not score high marks in his school subjects but whenever I see his face, there is a certain calmness and innocence. I know mothers will see that in the children, no matter what. But this sense of calmness is a lot different with my other children. The girls exudes confidence and they know exactly what they want and Arif, my youngest, well there are a lot to learn about him...he is only 4 yrs old.

Afiq will be taking a course in culinary in July. His interest in culinary was a shocker to us. This is the first time that he expressed his interest. There was no specific area of interest before this. He wanted to be a rapper. I've heard his composition and I don't understand a word of it. But it seems to be popular and circulated amongst his cyber friends.

I hope that I will be able to nurture his interest in culinary and i have explained to him the real world is not as nice and smooth as what you see on TV. What he watched on 703 channel is not the same thing in real life. It will be heat and hard work. You have to start from the bottom and I hope that he is ready for that. My doa is that he will be able to endure it all and survive. Be a good muslim, good son and a good brother to his sisters and little brother.

'Kitarongge' Afiq...