Sangat la melting nyer

"Arif u got homework today?" my daily question to Arif, my youngest. He is in Year 1.

"Yes", he said.

"Pegi la buat homework". Cuba pujuk dengan nada paling lembut dekad ini.

"Ala mama, buat homework, so tired la ma..." anak cuba berdalih. Sangat selesa melepak dengan mama on the bed, snuggling his mama.

"U know what Arif, your class teacher said, Arif ni nakal, selalu tak buat homework". Anak diam bila dengar bonda yang penuh kasih sayang ni berbicara.

"and your teacher said, if Arif does not do his homework, she is going to denda mama and ayah". Anak diam lagi.

"Your teacher said, she is going to let mama and ayah stand in the hot sun. U know how hot the sun is kan?" anak mengangguk tanda setuju.

"You and my father will melt", he said.....

"yes my son, we will melt."

Arif bingkas bangun turun ke bawah and reached for his books. Buat homework. Minutes later, "Ma, homework dah siap!"

hmmm....that seems to work. Alhamdulillah....

...and we live happily ever after....

sedih betul scan newspaper semalam. tak payah baca sebenarnya, tengok gambar pun dah meraung hiba. malu nak teruskan baacan sebab dah tau apa citernya. A picture say a 1000 words? indeed. a man and a young woman in towels. in a hazily lit room. cheh! tak de kelas langsung dok citer pasal politician kita yang kononnya menjalinkan hubungan terlarang. macam la yang lain baik macam malaikat! kalau betul nak tunjuk, kasi tunjuk semua la...ni muka mamat tu blur pulak. tak faham sungguh la strategi strategist2 ni. misteri le konon. sudah2 le wei...who ever yang upload video tu! publisiti murahan tahap lebih gaban dari gaban wa cakap lu.....!

kenapa la our local media take up the story and made it front page? why oh..why...? integriti media dipersoalkan. agaknya attention is given sebab kalau kita tahu who that man in question, akan memantapkan ekonomi negara, akan menurunkan harga petrol, akan menurunkan harga ayam...ataupun tak perlu bayar tax lagi dan rakyat jelata akan live happily ever after....

pilihanraya umum semakin dekat agaknya and now is the elimination phase. Kill...kill....Kill....!!!!!


p.s. today's editorial pages. pages tau bukan column! ada ulasan pulak pasal gambar semalam tu. ramai sungguh la nak bagi pendapat. kagum betul dengan keperihatinan sesetengah pihak pasal isu ni.

marvelous monday .....NOT!!!!!

nothing seems to go right today. my morning to work was greeted with a traffic jam. belum masuk hiway lagi. dah sesak. terhegeh2...... damn#1.

sepanjang perjalanan, ramai juga male drivers yang bawak kete slow macam siput. kalau agak nak kerja bawak keta macam betul nak pegi kerja. ni macam nak makan gaji buta! who is that MP yang kata female drivers are slow and the cause of many road congestion?????? damn #2!

at work...aaarrggghhhh..!!!! memacam pasal. meeting yang menyakitkan rongga telinga dan menepukan fikiran. tambah pulak big boss kasi beberapa das to yrs truly...lagi macam nak tikam je sape yang buat lawak bodoh hari ni! Yup.....im getting physical. damn...#3! double damn!!!

and why is this headache tak mau lega2...???? makan panadol dah berapa round. dalam keta nak balik tadi dah telan 2 biji. lega sekejap...mai balik. panadol ciplak ke? last weekend was a lousy one. spent my saturday mostly sleeping. sunday, went out with anak2, tgk wayang....(citer pun bosan, melayan arif je sebenarnya. dapat pulak org sebelah buka kasut...semerbak bau sepanjang wayang. ishh...kalau tak sebab bawak anak, mau ku pelangkong je budak ni! sakit kepala wa!!!!)...balik rumah...wa lepak lagi kat katil. lelap lagi. selalunya, my headache will bye2 after a short nap. kalau pi doktor, sure kata....'aaahhh...stress ni...' semua stress. wa tak stress, ok. damn#4!

apasal negatif banyak sangat ni? selalunya negatif ni sekejap saja menyapa. cepat2 brush it away and focus on the positive side of things. bersangka baik is always my approach. selalunya macam switch on and off je. this time,....agak sesak dan hampir kalah.....damn#5!!!!

really hope a better day tomorrow. positive aura...happier mood....a terrific tuesday....(not a terrible tuesday...heeeyyyy....!!!!!! negative...negative....).

or perhaps...that kacip fatimah capsules i am taking right now....wa panas!!!!!!!!!!!!......hmmmm....

Kita boleh ke? Sangat......

cuba pikir....dalam tempoh 20 tahun ni apa yang telah kita buat? sekolah....masuk u/kolej/institut..lepas tu habis belajar....cari kerja....dapat kerja, lepas tu gedik nak kawin. maka on pursuit to cari your life time partner. dah jumpa, kawin..start family. Anak2 pun semakin membesar dan semakin demanding. Sungguh mencabar hidup zaman material ni. cepat je habis citer kan? sebab semua berkisar di sekelilig kita yang pastinya kat malaysia je. 20 tahun dikisahkan tidak sampai 3 line....sempoi kan? Sangat....

cuba pikir pulak, dalam tempoh 20 tahun, macam-macam kerja dilakukan. pelbagai majikan menjadi tempat kita mempelajari selok belok perniagaan. sekeliling mungkin berkata, asyik tukar kerja je...tidak tetap pendirian. (peduli apa kan? happy heart i la...) dah tu, kita merantau. mencari pengalaman, mencari rezeki di negeri orang. macam seorang usahawan yang baru saya kenali. bukan tidak ada cara senang selepas graduate cari kerja dan berkerjaya di mesia saja, tapi telah mengambil keputusan untuk bekerja biasa2 di negara orang utuk mencari pengalaman. lagipun duit kita ni pun bukannya tinggi sangatpun nilainya. kalau kerja kat UK pun cantik juga. Nilai matawang pada suatu ketika dulu 8 kali ganda dengan ringgit malaysia. pergghhh!!!!! apa yang penting work hard guna kederat yang ada untuk cari rezeki and jangan putus asa. buat tiga kerja dalam satu masa. orang yang berani dan gila je akan buat kerja gila macam ni. did i mention, berani? lepas tu, pegi negara lain pulak, supply barang2 mewah yang menjadi gilaan pompuan2 yg suka branded handbags. meeting that demands pun boleh hidup sebab ramai juga customers yang suka benda2 ni.

after a few years overseas, balik malaysia, buat kerja lain pulak. kalau dah kebal overseas dengan tekanan yang pasti tahap luar biasa, setakat kat mesia ni, kacang je kot. kat mesia ni, kena pandai cari peluang sebab peluang memang banyak. rata2 pun orang kita pun ramai malas. tunggu kena suap and dapat subsidi pun boleh hidup dah. kerajaan manjakan kita dengan bab2 ni dan jadi faktor penggalak juga kepada budaya makan bersuap ni. seronok apa....kita pun ada adat bersuap-suap masa jadi pengantin dulu....criss cross tangan pengantin nak suap suami/isteri dengan tepuk sorak kaum keluarga di atas kemesraan kedua-dua pengantin, walaupun malu2 tapi buat juga....eh sama le pulak dengan budaya suap kat mesia ni, malu memang ada, tapi buat juga suka2...

dalam nak capai kejayaan duniawi ni, memang ramai dengki. biasalah kita ni semua boleh. kalau setakat nak berdengki kat orang lagi la boleh kan? sangat! santau, bomoh siam, poison letter, and the latest....video sensasi...hish!!!!...tersangat la terrernya org kita, hah tu dia! boleh ke tak boleh? boleh sangat.........!

tapikan, balik pada citer usahawan balik dari overseas tu. ingatkan tekanan di overseas maha hebat, tapi kat mesia, sikit punya ke petala ke sembilan lagi dahsyat tekanannya. daripada bersaing dengan manusia yang mental yang mahu berjaya hanya dengan jalan pintas, kabel besar dan payung besar, sebesar khemah kenduri, lebih baik mancari cara untuk berbakti menerusi penyebaran ilmu kehidupan. sekurang-kurangnya....membantu anak2 muda menempa laluan agar tidak banyak membuat kesilapan dan tidak mudah menjadi generasi bersuap, berkabel dan berpayung besar. lebih suka berusaha sendiri. bukan ke itu yang sepatutnya kita lakukan sebagai umat Allah Taala ni?

so, apa yang kita dah lakukan dalam tempoh 20 tahun ni? kalau rasanya, 3 ayat je dah boleh rangkumkan semuanya....about time to do something kan? sangat!

ini lebih kepada mencabar diri sendiri daripada orang lain sebenarnya.....

senja permai di kampung belangkas permai

senja itu, aku bagai nak rak (kenapa rak? sangat xtreme....rak buku, rak kasut, rakit...? rakus???....etc...) teringatkan cinta hati pengarang jantung ku yang baru ku kenali dua minggu lalu. bagaimana awang boleh mendapat gelaran paling istimewa pernah aku kurniakan kepada org lelaki. sebelum ini, paling hebat pun aku bagi pakwe . awang sangat hebat...ibarat dewa yang turun dari kayangan menebar renjisan sakti memanah siapa saja yang memandangnya. dan aku telah memandangnya.....ahh sudah! terkena panahan matanya yang menikam kalbu. ayik..asyik..asyik....(lagu amelina yang pernah popular satu ketika dulu....) padan muka aku....???? rezeki aku???

arif....sjmc again

nebuliser twice a day.....anak ayah.....sakit pun mcm ayah

arif masuk hospital lagi....kali ni, demam panas mengganas. i was in kuantan on work and this time ayah handled the whole anak sakit incident. jadi citer, arif muntah dalam van sekolah (kesian tok imam nak kena cuci van sebelum amik budak2 for the next trip...), kaki tangan biru and sejuk, so weak.....my maid dah panic. bawak pegi hospital serdang, tunggu kat hospital serdang dekat 3 jam belum jumpa doktor lagi. i said, take him to sjmc...and situ kejap je dah jumpa doktor and atas nasihat doktor...warded. marsya voluntered to spend the nite wt arif kat hospital. esok, onwards, mama's turn. 2 malam kat kerusi maleh ni....from the comfort of vistana kuantan's comfy bed and extra comfy pillows....to kerusi maleh hospital. Adoyai....tapi anak punya pasal, kerusi maleh pun kerusi maleh le...what's important, arif sihat. mama sakit belakang...cari tukang urut terhandal satu malaya (hah!...telan pain killer pun ok juga).

muka bosan nak balik

after 4 days, arif merengek nak balik. hopefully hari ni boleh balik....mama pulak rasa nak demam. no..no..no....mama cannot demam...postpone demam till next change!

Please be careful

pagi tadi bawak keta macam biasa (100 - 110 speed limit) and i took the putrajaya-cyberjaya stretch to take MEX highway to work. the putrajaya-cyberjaya stretch is common for speeding, amongst motorists who take that stretch, like yours truly juga kadang2. although longer route to KL, it is easier and shorter time. tak sampai seminit taking that road, saw a policeman diverting traffic. unsual sight coz not many motorits take this stretch unless u work in putrajaya. slowed down the car and what i saw at the right lane was a lifeless body, all bloodied, clothes all torn, less a leg...berkecai from torso down, mere black plastic bag to cover half of his body. just a glimpse but our brain are created to capture such sight, almost with photographic precision, and yes, it is still clear in my mind. no body stopped. just the police man. about 20 meters away...tyre marks strecthed across the road and i saw, a KLIA limo...dengan tayar pecah and bengkok, hood depan kemek and the limo driver was sitting at the railing dengan kepada tunduk ke bawah. not far, satu motosikal kapcai remuk ya amat lying by the roadside....

that sight slowed me down, slowed most the motorists down. yang bebal dan bangang je would keep on speeding. gigil, unable to shake off what i saw. sesal dan kesian bukan sikit2. if the man was a muslim, al-fatihah disedekahkan. semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang mukmin. cant help but continuously imagining how his last few seconds hidup di bumi Allah. Semoga his death was a quick one and he did not suffer.

his death....someone lost a brother, a son, a husband, a father, a cousin, a friend, an uncle, a neighbour....

please be careful to all my dear ones...my doa mengiringi semua...semoga sentiasa dilindungi Allah swt.

ami is married now

a new chapter in life for ami...

ami should be going for her honeymoon esok, in kk. im sure she is very happy at the moment. tak sampai seminggu bernikah dengan amirul. inai masih merah di jari. sengih sampai ke telinga masih berterusan. sibuk menyiapkan kelengkapan rumahtangga. tengah belajar2 masak juga agaknya. her wedding was last saturday, 29/1/11. the 1st wedding untuk cucu ghazali duyob and khadijah haji mustaffa. many glitches.....of which easily tackled if we have more manpower. but come to think of it...the glitches made the wedding more memorable....hehehe...(cover line je ni...). what the heck. although i was dead tired...my body ached all over...tapi puas hati. coz ami was a radiant and beautiful pengantin and yes...happy. looking at her laughed...enjoying having her pics taken, going through the whole wedding rituals and surrounded by family and friends...makes all the effort worthwhile. penat pun penat lah...so fulfilling when the bride's parents pun happy juga. although it was drizzling...the guests kept on coming. food was cukup-cukup...fantastic!!! hate wastage. balance lauk cukup untuk family members.

with my sis and the bride masa malam berinai

the pengantin dengan the gedik cousins and friends

ami is like my own child. she was born when i was in form 3. took care of her from confinement throughout school days. kakak tak de maid those days, so...yours truly was part time helper. feed her, mandikan dia, tocangkan rambut dia, take her to the playground...tadah muntah dia.....yup all those. those wide thick glasses during school days...hehehe....ami's brother, azizul was also under my care...well azizul is another story.

ami ni, org tua2 kata....keras hati le juga, sensitive, intelligent, hard working, simple in dressing yet elegant...kadang2 rasa her dress sense is like her mama's (unlike adik dia, ema), keep things to herself, manja......and yes, realised this recently...quite witty.

when she joined the same company i work with, sayu juga sebab....i helped raised her and now she is my office mate. awkward too coz how will she address me at the office? lawak juga....nobody knows about the relations except the HR people. we gave 2 months before the staff find out about our ties, but it was nearly 3 years later bila ada makcik sorang kat ofis yang start spreading the info (macam tak de kerja lain, nak cari popularity vote kot). kalau tidak, mungkin sampai sekarang, tak ramai yang tau.

it broke my heart when i see her cry during those 'difficult months' in her life coz i know she deserves better. tak sampai hati tengok. mau ku santau je those yang hurt her! and now all those bad memories dah jauh tinggal and she has amirul now. what is the odd of that? nama pun lebih kurang sama. rupa paras pun lebih kurang sama. sesuwei sangat....akak likeeeee.....

ami & amirul....

tambah sorang lagi dalam family ni

my doa for your happiness ami. dont ever take things for granted. sayang menyayangi, hormat menghormati and perhaps could start by addressing yr hb dengan panggilan 'abang'. be humble...tapi jgn sampai kena buli. ikhlas and sentiasa sabar...sabar...sabar...

my ben 10 is bandaged...

sometimes arif forgets to be careful especially when he is with girls. while i was upstairs bz with the preparation for ami's wedding this coming weekend, he crashed into the sliding door while running around the house with his cousins, yeah...girls. what i saw was broken glasses splatered on the floor and yes, blood. so much of blood. he was bleeding profusely and the blood was from his head. when u see yr child bleeding, there was only one thing to do, stop it as fast as i can and i cant afford to be panicky. he was blue, pale...cold hands and feet. he was about to doze off. he was in shock. i dont want him to go into seizure. i was trying to stay as calm as possible and i dont want him to see me out of control. he must not see me break down. i said many times, "arif dont sleep, arif tak boleh tidor. u must stay awake or else arif pengsan. he cooperated. he said "...ok..ok...arif tak tidor." "mama, i did not see the door. it was invisible." mak ngah and amirul's (ami's fiance) quick thinking helped me take arif to the emergency centre, sjmc, subang jaya.

arif displayed strength throughout the ordeal. strength that i never knew is capable of a 6 yr old. strong like his ayah when need to endure pain. he did not cry although the nurses were cleaning his wounds. i know how painful it is but he remain quiet. perhaps he was trying to comprehend what had happened, the strange surrounding at the emergency centre. i was worried coz i cant see his reaction. it is more worrying that way. it is normal to cry for a child who is going through such pain. it is ok to cry. it is ok to scream...it is ok. But he remained quiet. when i asked him what was he thinking....he said, 'nothing'. hold his hand most of the time and assuring him all will be ok in no time. he finally whispered to me, faintly, "mama...it hurts...very-very hurt". Oh God, please...i am willing to go through the pain anytime instead of my baby... it is so heart wrenching to see your baby lying there in pain. where the hell is the doctor?????? told arif, i need to go outside for a while. left him a few minutes. need to take some breather. outside, i saw a familiar face. ami was there, although took me a few seconds to recognise her.

my ben 10, no need omnitrix arif

while waiting for the surgeon, still can give a smile for the camera, although faintly

we had to wait for the specialist, a plastic surgeon as the wounds were quite serious. the longest hour ever in my life. he was shivering and screaming with pain when the doctor injected anesthetic into all the wounds before she started the stitching. there were an average of 5-7 stitches at every cut and there are 7....yes...that much!

the stitching

called nik aman after maghrib and when he reached the hospital with marsya, arif was done and ready to go home. marsya was all teary eyes when she saw little brother like that and was with him all the time. thank you mak ngah, ami and amirul for being there.

ready to go home....

Ehem...ehem....

Arif loves to have shots of him taken wearing his Ben 10 omnitrix, using my sony hphone. All sorts of pose with his beloved omnitrix (betul ke eja ni? belasah la)....


Amongst those many shots of him, there was one of mine wearing a bridal crown...(taken while helping out my niece, or rather, nyibuk to choose her wedding dress)....i said to Arif, while pointing at the screen of my hphone...


"look Arif, dont i look pretty wearing a crown?"

Arif with a glance on the hp screen, said........"mama, that is not a crown......., its a TIARA..."

ehem...ehem..."oh a TIARA.."